I'm Sorry, Forgive me, I Apologize, Don't Hate Me
by Moonsetta
Summary: Another argument, this one goes too far. How do you apologize when you've stabbed your own brother? How can you stop him from hating you? Now a chapter story.
1. Chapter 1

Ok this was a one-shot for a short time but like, no one read it, so I decided to repost it as a chapter story. Maybe the 10,000 words one-shot was difficult to read for some people so here it is in chapter form.

I don't own TMNT.

* * *

"Thanks for the help April," Leo said as he stood up from his friend's kitchen chair, "Sorry about the blood."

"It's ok," April said, grabbing a towel off the back of another chair, "I've gotten quite used to it by now."

Leo sighed and stared at the ground.

"You are going to go back, right?" April asked, staring at the wound she couldn't believe that braised the turtle's plastron.

"Of course I am!" Leo said very loudly and quickly then softened his voice, "I just need a little time to get my head strait."

Leo's shellcell began ringing but he ignored it. It was lying on the table and April was tempted to reach for and answer it herself but she held back because of the look in Leo's eyes. After all he did just have to knock Casey out to stop him from running off. The vigilante was now unconscious on her living room couch. Leo grabbed a second towel and helped her finish cleaning up.

When everything was clean April turned back to Leo, "Ok are you ready to tell me the whole story? Your explanation isn't giving me much."

Leo sighed and sat back down at the kitchen table.

"I'll make us some tea," April said.

"It's really nothing April, just another argument."

"Just another argument!?" April yelled and slammed the cabinet door she had opened, "Leo if it was just another argument you wouldn't have come stumbling into my home at midnight with a heavily bleeding chest wound!"

Leo stared at her then rapidly dropped his gaze to the floor.

"I'm ok," he mumbled.

April groaned, "Leo, you're not ok. You're going to be feeling that wound a lot in the next 24 hours."

Leo placed a hand over the wound and took a deep breath. It was difficult to breathe but he managed a few shaky breaths before he looked back up at April, "I was just trying to make him see reason. I know he's perfectly-"

"Leo, wait a second," April said as she handed him his cup of tea, "Take a drink first, calm down a bit. You're still very tense."

While Leo did just that April turned to put up the tea bags and then flipped on something under the table when she sat down. Leo thankfully, didn't notice.

"So you were saying?" April asked when the turtle seemed to have calmed down a little.

"It was just an argument, honestly. Raph and I argue all the time."

"Why do you argue all the time?" April asked, taking a drink of her tea to hide her smile.

"I can't help it, I know he's capable of taking care of himself. Shell, he's the strongest one on the team and always ready to charge into battle. He's the fearless one, not me. I'm scared every time he runs off on his own. Maybe it's the whole big brother thing but I just can't stand seeing him lying out there, cold, alone and possibly-" Leo choked back his tears.

"You don't cry a lot do you?"

Leo took another deep breath and shook his head, "No, it makes me lose my patience and focus."

"And this is always a bad thing why? You know it's ok to cry."

"April, anger can do a lot of things. My brothers are blessed to be stronger and better fighters when they're angry. I don't share that trait. As the leader, a position I'm never allowed to forget mind you, I'm responsible for them. Every wound is my fault and if I lost even one of them, we'd all fall apart and there'd be nothing I could do but I would be expected to fix everything."

Leo took another drink of his tea then continued, "Sure Don's fixes things around the lair when they're broken and the injuries we receive but if anyone's feeling sad or angry I have to fix it because stuff like this happens."

Leo gestured to his wound that still bled through the bandages a bit but was nothing to worry over.

"I still don't understand why you had to go after Raph, he always comes home doesn't he?"

Leo nodded, "Yes, he does but-"

"You can't help but worry?"

"Yeah."

"Do you blame him?"

"Of course not!" Leo almost yelled, "He was just angry."

"He could've stabbed you and killed you Leo."

"Could've but he didn't." Leo took another drink of tea, "Even if I did die in such a way. I'm sure there'd be a logical reason."

"I highly disagree with simple anger being a logical reason to shove a knife through your chest."

Leo was silent.

April sighed, "You wouldn't blame him?"

"No, never."

"You'd still love him?"

"Of course, he's my brother! Nothing could stop me from loving him, any of them."

"What about Mikey and Don?" April asked.

"Mikey's the one who makes us happy every day. Donny's the genius we probably rely too heavily on. They're both blessings in our lives. I was extremely proud of Mikey for winning the BattleNexus Championship."

"But doesn't he brag about it all the time?"

"Yes, but truthfully I think he does it to more than just brag. He had so much pride in him that day."

Another long pause.

"I know I'm the best at nin-jutsu, Raph's the strongest and Donny's the most intelligent. When we first began becoming who we were I often caught Mikey muttering that he felt he was insignificant to us because he wasn't good nin-jutsu, stronger or smarter. That victory at the BattleNexus proves to us that he has something that we don't, something of his own that he can be proud of."

April nodded, encouraging him to continue, "And what about Donny?"

"I know we'd all be dead if it wasn't for him, that's for sure. I'm still astounded how he can hold all that information in his head and pull out exactly what we need when we need it. He could give Einstein a run for his money. I wish I had his patience, perhaps it could help with Raphael."

A long minute went by before April asked her last question, "What about you?"

"What about me?" Leo asked back, forcing her to break her last question into many questions.

"Well, first of all, what do you think of yourself?"

Leo shrugged, "I'm me."

"Leo?"

He sighed, staring down into his now empty tea cup, "I'm going to be there when my family needs me. I'm scared of the day they don't need me anymore. I'm not going to know what to do. My life is centered on nin-jutsu and caring for them. I'll get lost when both of those jobs are completed."

"Leo, they're always going to need you."

"No, one day they're going to all agree that they can take care of themselves. That they won't need me, I'm here for them until then."

"Leo, if they do say that, they have to understand that it's going to wound you in the worst way."

"Guess I'll have to prepare for that day if I'm going to live through it."

April shook her head, "Leonardo, you are impossible."

Leo laughed then stood up, "Thanks for the tea and talk April, I really needed this."

April sighed, "You know you're welcome anytime Leo but seriously they're always going to need you."

"Ok," Leo said although his voice sang a different tune.

Leo walked over to the window.

"Leo wait. One more thing?"

"Hm?"

"I know it's random but you mentioned if one of you was gone. Well, what if that one was you?"

"I'd expect Raph to take my place. He's a good leader. Hopefully, when the time comes he'll be a better leader and older brother than me."

With that Leo jumped off the windowsill and to the next building before April could question him further. He took the longest way home he could think of and let his mind straiten itself out before he returned home. He found his brothers, all three to his relief, talking in the kitchen. He snuck past them and went to bed, after all he had leadership training at 5:00. He listened later that night as Don entered the room and climbed into his bed above Leo's.

Yeah, neither of them could sleep with Raph's snoring or Mikey's mumbling.

* * *

Yeah, I'm basing this off their second lair, where they didn't actually have doors just doorways and I never actually saw them sleeping in their rooms other than in the episode, "Hunted". It was clear Raph and Mikey had their own rooms but I never actually could figure out if it was showing just one room or two when it showed Donny and Leo sleeping.

I did notice Raph snored like a chainsaw and Mikey shouted out random things in his sleep so I think the only two that could actually get along in the same room would be Donny and Leo because when they sleep they barely make any noise. Let's face it, there would be extreme circumstances mixing it any other way.

Mikey and Donny-Donny wouldn't be able to sleep and things would get broken

Raph and Leo-You don't even need common sense to see this is a very bad idea! O_O

Mikey and Raph-Whoever thinks this is a good idea needs to be hit with an anvil. (No offense)

Donny and Raph-Once again things would get broken and Donny would get no sleep.

Mikey and Leo-This is a nightmare waiting to happen. Who's going to go crazy first? Leo because he's getting no peace or Mikey because he's getting bored?

~Moonsetta


	2. Chapter 2

Ok and we continue on...

I don't own TMNT.

* * *

Leo had a nightmare that night of his memory of Raph stabbing him but tossed it aside. He'd get over it and the others had forgotten it by now. He woke up at 4:30 as usual but suddenly found his wound was burning and he was unable to open his eyes. For two seconds he heard someone moving around him and then he fell back into unconsciousness.

He reopened his eyes to someone knocking on the side of the doorway, "Um, come in," he said as he sat up and tried to rub the drowsiness from his eyes.

To his surprise, it was Mikey who came into his room, bearing a tray of food.

Leo set his eyes on questioning.

"Um, I brought you breakfast," Mikey said in an uneasy voice.

"Why?"

"Oh well Donny said you were cringing in pain a lot last night so he gave you some medicine to help and well I um-"

Leo wasn't really paying attention, listening though, yes.

"What kind of medicine?" he asked as he yawned.

Why was he so tired?

"Just something to numb the pain and help you sleep," Mikey said as he walked over to his eldest brother.

"Wait, what time is it?" Leo asked anxiously, nearly leaping off the bed.

Mikey offered the tray with a large omelet and a cup of Leo's favorite tea to the blue banded turtle. Leo was still confused.

"Mikey, breakfast in bed? I'm not sick."

"You're injured though," Mikey protested, "And you need to rest."

"Michelangelo I-"

"Master Splinter's orders," Mike said quickly.

Leo was speechless.

"Oh," he said after a moment of realization, "Ok."

"You're not going to argue?"

Truthfully Leo was too tired to argue. Whatever Donny gave him worked.

"No," Leo said and his voice sounded sad.

So, Mikey was doing this because Master Splinter told him to, not because he wanted to. Leo took the tray and almost jumped out of the bed when he felt more pillows be stacked up behind his shell.

"Just to help you," Mikey said quietly when Leo shot him another questioning look.

"Did Master Splinter give him a specific list?" Leo wondered in his mind.

Leo shrugged it off and turned to his breakfast but he realized Mikey was just standing there in silence.

"What?" Mike asked.

"Why are you still here?" Leo asked although it came out sounding much harsher than he intended.

Mikey cringed at Leo's harsh voice then turned his head away from him, "I'll leave then. Since you want me to."

"Mikey, I'm sorry I didn't mean you had to leave. I'm just baffled," Leo said.

"Huh?" Mikey turned to look back at him.

"Unnecessary pain medication from Donny, Master Splinter allowing me to skip morning practice and breakfast in bed from you. What's next, is Raph going to come in and read me a poem?"

Before Mikey could say anything there was a sound of approaching footsteps.

"Yes?" Leo asked.

"Hey Leo, um can I come in?" Raph's voice said from outside of the room, "I have something for you."

Leo blinked twice then hesitantly said, "Yeah come on in."

Raph walked inside very slowly, with a piece of paper in his hand!

"I'm asleep, I'm asleep, I'm asleep, I'm asleep, I'm asleep, I'm asleep, I'm asleep," Leo chanted burying his head in his hands before setting the tray on the bedside table and turning over towards the wall where he instantly fell back asleep.

* * *

Maybe Raph should be forced to read a poem out loud.

~Moonsetta


	3. Chapter 3

I don't own TMNT...

* * *

Raph frowned and crumbled up the paper, "Just forget it. He ain't ever gonna forgive me!"

He tossed it to the side and ran out of the room.

"Raph wait!" Mikey yelled after him.

As Mikey ran into the living room he found Donny trying to pull Raph back into the lair as the door to the sewers began opening.

"Raph please you just have to give him some time to recover. Of course he's going to forgive you."

"Yeah Raph," Mikey cut in while grabbing Raph's arm, "He's Leo, he'll forgive anyone."

"Um, excuse me," said a small voice from outside, "Did I come at a bad time?"

They all looked up to find April standing there.

"April," Donny and Mikey said and shot forward to get her inside.

They preferred their human friends use the elevator so this was quite unusual for April to come through the sewers.

"How's Leo?" she asked as the two youngest shot over to stop their big brother from leaving again.

"Let me go," Raph growled.

"Not until you and Leo straiten all this out," Don said.

"About that," April said, "I talked with him last night about what happened and-"

"What'd he say!?" Mikey asked bounding over to sit next to April on the couch.

"You stay here, or I'm going to wake Leo up and stick you two together with superglue," Don threatened.

"Fine," Raph grunted and fell into the armchair.

"Now, April?" Don asked.

April reached into her jacket and pulled out the tape recorder she had had taped to the underside of her kitchen table, "I got the whole conversation on tape."

"I want to hear it!" Mikey shouted.

"Mikey, most of this is really his private thoughts but there are a few things I think you guys should hear."

She played the first part:

"_So you were saying?" April asked._

"_It was just an argument, honestly. Raph and I argue all the time."_

"_Why do you argue all the time?" April asked._

"_I can't help it, I know he's capable of taking care of himself. Shell, he's the strongest one on the team and always ready to charge into battle. He's the fearless one, not me. I'm scared every time he runs off on his own. Maybe it's the whole big brother thing but I just can't stand seeing him lying out there, cold, alone and possibly-" Leo choked back his tears._

Raph went to say something but April held up her hand.

The second part:

"_April, anger can do a lot of things. My brothers are blessed to be stronger and better fighters when they're angry. I don't share that trait. As the leader, a position I'm never allowed to forget mind you, I'm responsible for them. Every wound is my fault and if I lost even one of them, we'd all fall apart and there'd be nothing I could do but I would be expected to fix everything."_

_Leo paused then continued, "Sure Don fixes things around the lair when they're broken and the injuries we receive but if anyone's feeling sad or angry I have to fix it because stuff like this happens."_

Part three:

"_I still don't understand why you had to go after Raph, he always comes home doesn't he?"_

"_Yes, he does but-"_

"_You can't help but worry?"_

"_Yeah."_

"_Do you blame him?"_

"_Of course not!" Leo almost yelled, "He was just angry."_

"_He could've stabbed you and killed you Leo."_

"_Could've but he didn't, even if I did die in such a way. I'm sure there'd be a logical reason."_

"_I highly disagree with simple anger being a logical reason to shove a knife through your chest."_

_Leo was silent._

_April sighed, "You wouldn't blame him?"_

"_No, never."_

"_You'd still love him?"_

"_Of course, he's my brother! Nothing could stop me from loving him, any of them."_

They all looked towards Raph as he made some kind of noise that sounded almost like a whimper.

Part 4:

"_What about Mikey and Don?" April asked._

"_Mikey's the one who makes us happy every day. Donny's the genius we probably rely too heavily on. They're both blessings in our lives. I was extremely proud of Mikey for winning the BattleNexus Championship."_

"_But doesn't he brag about it all the time?"_

"_Yes, but truthfully I think he does it to more than just brag. He had so much pride in him that day."_

Mikey smiled, a look of self pride covering his gaze. Yes, he had been able to do something his brothers couldn't.

Part 5:

"_And what about Donny?" April asked._

"_I know we'd all be dead if it wasn't for him, that's for sure. I'm still astounded how he can hold all that information in his head and pull out exactly what we need when we need it. He could give Einstein a run for his money. I wish I had his patience, perhaps it could help me with Raphael."_

"But, wait a minute," Don said as April paused the tape.

"Why in the world would Leo say that? I mean really why would he say all this? He's never told us any of it."

"He didn't know I was recording it," April said, "But I needed something out of him after the uh incident."

Raph mumbled something but it fell on deaf ears.

Part 6:

"_Leonardo, you are impossible."_

_Leo laughed, "Thanks for the tea and talk April, I really needed this."_

_April sighed, "You know you're welcome anytime Leo but seriously they're always going to need you."_

"_Ok," Leo said although his voice sang a different tune._

"_Leo wait. One more thing?"_

"_Hm?"_

"_I know it's random but you mentioned if one of you was gone. Well, what if that one was you?"_

"_I'd expect Raph to take my place. He's a good leader."_

With that she cut off the tape, the other things Leo mentioned were his own thoughts and she had no right to tell the others.

"Whoa," Mikey said, naturally being the first to speak after that.

"Einstein," Donny mumbled.

More intelligent than the father of physics and time and space!? The man who revealed the forth dimension and proved the existence of 13 dimensions? Not to mention the one who created the revolutionary theory of relativity?

"Leo never did complain as much as you two," Mikey said out loud, "and he was the only one that helped me when I had to fight Kluh."

"I see it was indeed a wise decision to allow Leonardo to rest," Splinter said as he walked towards the others before sitting down in his chair.

"You heard?" Don asked.

"Yes Donatello," Splinter said, eyeing the tape recorder.

Even if he could hear the rest of the conversation they were apparently thoughts April believed Leo should keep. Splinter respected his sons to let out pent up feelings when they were ready.

Raph stood up.

"Where are you going?" Don asked.

"I have to talk to Leo sometime."

* * *

I'm hungry....Revolution!

Sorry, random moment.

~Moonsetta


	4. Chapter 4

I don't own TMNT.

* * *

Raph, although the aftershock of his actions hit him hard, couldn't help but wonder at the hope that Leo would forgive him. Even though he had just heard on the tape that Leo didn't blame him he couldn't bring his heart to forgive himself. When he hated other people he got angry, well angrier, but when he hated himself well, he brooded after he screamed once.

Raph jumped to the second level of their home but ducked first into his room. He took out his sais and laid them on the floor under his hammock. He didn't want them anywhere near his brother. After a lot of mental battles Raph found himself once again at Leo's room. He made a small shuffling sound with his feet to let Leo know he was there. Leo, of course, had every right to yell at him to go away and leave him alone.

"Come on in Raph," Leo said from inside the room.

Raph gulped and stepped into the room. He half expected Leo to be there, his swords drawn in a defensive stance but Leo was sitting on his bed, a book in his hands. His katanas were sheathed and strapped onto his shell again so he looked more like his normal self, not the tired form Raph had seen earlier that morning.

"Leo I- um well I um uh, I'm trying to, no I um you're and um I-"

Leo looked up from his book. It was titled, _1806 Taoist Soul. _Leo tilted his head in confusion as Raph tried to create some kind of start up to a conversation.

Leo closed the book, automatically remembering the page number and set it down on the bedside table where the tray that had had his breakfast on it was as well.

"Try sentences and syllables Raphael," Leo said with a smile.

Raph was about to turn around and drop everything when Leo spoke again, "So what's with this, updates to the Shell-Cycle?"

Raph's head jerked towards Leo, who was scanning over a piece of paper with his eyes. The same paper Raph had crumpled up before and thrown to the ground. Leo could make out some of the parts listed there because he often went up to work on the Battle-Shell with Don, when he didn't have to watch Mikey. Sometimes Raph was there working on his motorcycle as well but most of the time Raph was out on it.

"Well, not exactly," Raph mumbled, staring at the floor.

Leo raised an eye ridge at that but shrugged it off, as just a 'Raph thing'. He rarely understood his immediate little brother but he didn't really understand any of them.

"So the paper?" Leo asked.

"Huh?"

"Didn't you come for the paper?" Leo asked holding it out towards him.

"Well no I-um,"

Leo inwardly sighed, this was annoying. Since when did Raph have trouble putting a sentence together?

Then Leo looked closer and noticed Raph's hands were clenched into fists and he was shaking a bit. Was he sick? In pain? Leo instantly became worried. He got up and walked over to his little brother.

"Raph are you ok?"

Raph took a step back, "I'm fine I just, I need to say..."

Leo frowned and placed a hand on Raph's shoulder, "What? What do you need to say?"

Raph frowned and clamped his eyes shut tightly.

"Just say it quickly and get it over with!" Raph yelled at himself in his mind.

"I'm sorry!" Raph said so quickly Leo almost missed it.

* * *

Yay! Raph finally spit it out! Wait, what happens now?

~Moonsetta


	5. Chapter 5

I don't own TMNT.

* * *

"Sorry?" Leo asked, "For what?"

Raph stared up at his older brother in shock and that made him angry.

"For what!? What do you think!?" he yelled.

"Well, I think normally you wouldn't apologize for much."

"Leo are you blind!? Well, no, even if blind anyone else would know!"

"What this?" Leo asked lying a hand over his newest wound.

Raph growled and glared at Leo. Now Leo took a step back.

"Raph there's no need to apologi-"

"SHUT UP!" Raph yelled.

Back downstairs the two turtles, one rat and one human glanced up at the room.

"Uh, maybe one of us should've gone with him," Don said.

"No," Splinter said, "They will work it out."

"Until their next argument," Mikey piped up.

"Raph's never gone that far though," Don said.

"What do you mean?" April asked.

"I guess I feel something's about to change."

"As do I my son," Splinter said with a smile that his sons hadn't seen for years.

"Donny aren't weird feelings Master Splinter's and Leo's territory?" Mikey asked.

"Your brother is maturing Michelangelo," Splinter said, "I suggest you follow his example."

"Huh?"

Back to the angry and confused turtles.

"Raph you've repeatedly hit me in the past, its nothing new I-"

"I didn't hit you this time! I stabbed you!"

"So?"

"SO!?"

Leo sighed and grabbed Raph's arm before he hurt one of them.

"RAPHAEL CALM DOWN!" Leo shouted and amazingly Raph grew silent.

This time Leo sighed in relief, it was hard to talk with Raph when he was screaming.

"Raph, what happened has already happened. I've already gone over the fight in my mind and realized I forgot what we were fighting about in the first place. So it kind of makes the whole thing pointless."

Raph inwardly cringed at the word _point_. He remembered his hands flying out, his sais _pointing _at Leo and-

"Raph!" Leo yelled, getting the red banded turtle's attention back.

"Huh?" he mumbled, still looking at the floor.

Leo sighed again and raised Raph's face to look him in the eyes.

Raph tried to step away from his brother's stare but he couldn't before Leo said, "I don't blame you."

Although it had pretty much been made clear to the others Raph still had a difficult time believing the possibility of Leo forgiving him, but he wouldn't and couldn't forgive him if he never blamed him.

"But-" Raph trailed off and stared down at the wound on his brother's chest.

"Raph, look I'm breathing, I'm talking and I can move. I'm fine, given this wound will take awhile to heal but I'm alive. Thankfully you stabbed me on the right side, missing my heart. Then I really would be dead."

Raph whimpered.

Leo slapped his forehead, "Ok, poor choice of words. Raph look, everything is ok. How many times must I say it to convince you?"

"I-I…" Raph grew silent again.

Raph wouldn't blame Leo if he took out both swords and stabbed them both through him. It'd be better than looking at what he had done to his own brother.

"I'm sorry," Raph said, in a voice that seemed to have aged ten years in under three seconds.

Raph slowly looked up to see Leo shaking his head. Leo turned around and went back to the bedside table where he scooped up his book he had been reading. Thinking he was going to start reading again Raph turned to leave.

"Raph?" Leo called to him.

Raph turned around but kept his eyes on the floor.

"He's got to blame me eventually," Raph thought, "He has to."

"You're my brother Raphael, nothing is going to make me hate you," Leo said

Raph closed his eyes.

"No! Not now! Not in front of Leo!……… I don't cry!" Raph yelled in his head as he began trying to swallow back the urge to let out something from his burning throat.

Leo watched as his immediate little brother began shaking again. He glanced down at his book and looked on the first page where he had two quotes written.

"I have a brother when I'm a brother in need. I spend my whole time running, he spends his time running after me."

That one reminded Leo of him and Raph a lot. Raph always ran off and after awhile Leo left to either find and bring him back or follow him until he got back home safely. Of course, Raph didn't know he mostly just followed him home.

The second related to all of them.

"Our siblings push buttons that cast us in roles we felt sure we had let go of long ago - the baby, the peacekeeper, the caretaker, the avoider.... It doesn't seem to matter how much time has elapsed or how far we've traveled." ~Jane Mersky Leder

The baby-Michelangelo

The peacekeeper-Donatello

The avoider-Raphael

The caretaker-Leonardo

Of course about five meters away Raph was still battling his mind. Soon he was begging.

"Don't cry, don't," he thought even as he felt his limbs shaking.

"Raph! Leo!" Mikey shouted as he made his way to his older brothers.

Raph gasped and backed over to the wall, where he leaned against it and lowered his gaze to the floor. He ground his teeth together. Mikey entered the room and looked back and forth between Raph and Leo. He made sure not to keep his gaze on Raph too long.

He turned to Leo and said, "We're heading to April's for pizza and a movie, you guys in?"

Leo glanced at Raph and observed the way he was acting, "Uh, no thanks Mikey. I think we'll stay here."

"Ok and Master Splinter's coming with Donny and me so don't start freaking out when you can't find him."

Leo laughed, "Ok Mikey. Be careful out there tonight it's awfully cold."

"Yes sir!" Mikey saluted then jumped down onto the first level of their home and ran out the door where Don, Splinter and April were waiting.

The door closed and the lair fell into silence, except for the running of a few inventions of Don's.

"Leo I-" Raph started.

"Wait Raph," Leo said as he set his book down again.

* * *

Well, not much to say.

~Moonsetta


	6. Chapter 6

I don't own TMNT.

* * *

Raph watched as Leo went over to the doorway and removed three small pieces of metal.

"Cameras," Leo explained, "Nice try Mikey," he said looking down at them.

From a small speaker they both heard Mikey's voice, "Don you said Leo didn't know where they were!"

"Sorry I guess he was awake when I put them up last week."

"Yes I was Donny," Leo said before throwing them into the closet.

Leo walked over to the computer and switched the controls for every camera and microphone in the room off.

"There we g- wait," Leo said and disconnected the web cam.

Over at April's Don and Mikey watched almost every screen go out. Except for Don's web cam until Leo disconnected it.

"Aw man," Mikey moaned.

"Geez, Leo's smarter than I thought," Donny complained.

The webcam came back on, "I heard that."

"Leo?"

Leo smiled then disconnected the camera and microphone.

"My sons, what are you two doing?" Splinter asked.

"Uh technical stuff sensei, you wouldn't understand," Mike said quickly.

Splinter turned and walked back into the kitchen. The turtles turned back to the device to find it had disappeared! Splinter hid the small device in his robe then responded to April's offer of tea.

In the other room they heard shouts of, "Hurry find it! It's gotta be here!"

Splinter rolled his eyes, his youngest sons should respect their older brothers. Of course it didn't really matter if they had the device for Leo had unhooked and disabled everything. Back at the lair Leo turned to Raph who had his gaze still glued to the floor and he was still trembling.

"Raph?"

His red banded brother slowly looked up at him, his eyes reflecting more light than they should.

"Oh," Leo thought, finally realizing what was wrong.

Leo smiled, got up and went over to his little brother.

"Raph, it's ok."

Raph clamped his eyes shut quickly. He would not cry, he wouldn't. He couldn't. He didn't cry. No matter how hard he tried though, he couldn't stop the guilt, the image and the grief that came along with it. He let out one strangled sob and then found his older brother hugging him. Raph's eyes snapped open from the shock and the tears fell. He closed them again but it was too late. The tears were silently falling from his eyes and he couldn't stop them.

"Raph, it's ok," Leo repeated and this time Raph leaned forward to bury his face in Leo's shoulder his silent tears still falling from his eyes.

After a few minutes Raph glanced down to once again see the bandaged wound on his brother's chest. It had started bleeding again but not enough to be worrisome.

"Raph stop blaming yourself," Leo said turning Raph's head to look at him again.

"But I-"

"You can't forgive someone you never blamed," Leo explained.

"You don't-?"

"I don't blame you and I don't hate you."

"You should," Raph said in a trembling voice, his head dropping again onto Leo's shoulder.

Leo took a deep breath and smiled because Raph would see it in time. It was a long ten minutes before Raph once again raised his head. Still though, there were no feelings of hate or accusation in Leo's eyes. Leo recognized it as the time to let go and step away. He then noticed the blood trailing down his plastron and turned to Raph.

"I could never hate you Raph. You're my little brother, I love you," Leo said meeting Raph's eyes.

Those eyes widened for a moment before closing.

Raph smiled, "Thanks big brother," he whispered.

Leo smiled back and said, "You better get to bed you look like you haven't slept. I'm just going to go take care of this."

Raph opened his eyes to see Leo walk of the room with his hand covering the bleeding wound. It took a few seconds before Raph realized that Leo was not in sight and for some reason that suddenly filled with him fear. Raph shot out of the room and glanced around quickly.

"Where's Leo?!" he thought frantically.

* * *

I like Raph when he freaks out, it's funny! Well, him showing any emotion at all is unusual. Hey, do you realize that the first part of emotion is emo? Shudder...what a creepy thought.

~Moonsetta


	7. Chapter 7

A few minutes after panicking he found Leo in the kitchen wiping off the blood on his plastron.

"Leo?" Raph asked breathlessly at the door.

"Hm?" Leo asked as he looked over towards the creature currently taking deep breaths of oxygen, "Raph what's wrong?"

"Nothing I just lost track of you and-" Raph's voice faded away into murmuring.

Leo smiled, he recognized that face for he often saw it on himself. One of his brothers be out of sight when they've been injured and he's suddenly freaking out.

"Leo?"

"Huh?" Leo said frowning at the wound he was applying pressure to and pulling himself out of a crazy memory that involved, too much sugar in Mikey, bologna and maple syrup.

"Need any help?" Raph asked hopefully.

Leo smiled again and said, "I don't **need** help, but I would appreciate it."

So they both sat down at the table as Raph cleaned and bandaged the wound. A few times he almost left because he kept remembering that he had made the wound.

"But now I'm treating it," he thought, "That has to count for something, right?"

Although his mind said it didn't change a thing because he had still done it, taken his own weapon and stabbed his older brother.

"Well, maybe I could learn to calm down a little during our arguments," they both thought, remembering how their anger had lead up to the incident.

As Raph was finishing bandaging the wound Leo asked, "So what was that paper about? You never did answer."

Raph froze and immediately started yelling at himself in his own mind, "Idiot you had to leave it in there didn't you?!"

"Um well, it's nothing. Something stupid," Raph said and turned to clean up everything, his eyes downcast.

"I don't think it's stupid," Leo said, "I've been jealous of the Shell-Cycle since Don built it. You two are the only ones who've ever ridden it."

"You like motorcycles?" Raph raised an eye ridge at his older brother.

"Yeah, I think they're pretty cool but I can't ride."

"You ever tried?"

"Well no-"

"Well why wait!? Come on!" Raph shouted grabbing Leo's arm and dragging him to the elevator.

"Wait, where are we going?" Leo asked.

"The garage, duh," Raph said his voice slowly becoming the old roughed edge it had been.

"Why?"

"Like I said earlier today, I have something for you."

"What? All I remember are a bunch of parts and upgrades for the Shell-Cycle."

"They're not for the Shell-Cycle exactly," Raph said his voice growing quieter as they arrived at the warehouse.

"The Battle-Shell?"

"No."

"The Shell-Sub?"

"Nah."

"The Tunneler?

"No."

"The Sewer-Slider?"

"Um, nope."

"The copter?"

"Uh-uh."

As they walked past all previously said vehicles Leo dug in his mind for what else they had, "The Hover-Skip from the Utroms?"

"Nope."

"I give up, what other vehicle could we possibly have?"

Leo had run through every vehicle they owned right?

"Did one of you manage to get a hold of a plane, or tank maybe?" Leo asked.

Raph laughed, "Not me, I could sure have fun with a tank though."

"I need to stop giving him ideas," Leo thought.

"Ah, here it is," Raph said as they came to the very back corner of the warehouse.

Leo saw the Shell-Cycle and something that was covered with a tarp.

"What is it?" he asked.

Raph smiled and pulled the tarp away revealing a stunning blue motorcycle almost identical to the Shell-Cycle.

"Wow," Leo said and then said it again, "Wow. Did you build this?"

"All from spare parts," Raph grinned sheepishly.

"But why?"

"Well um, at first I just thought as having it as an alternative in case I somehow lost or caused major damage to Shell-Cycle, but after, um well-"

Raph glanced at the floor, the memory playing in his mind again and Leo's scream echoing in his ears.

Leo noticed the sudden silence and spoke up, "Raph, I don't blame you. You know this."

"Whether you do or not, it's gonna haunt me forever," Raph mumbled.

"Then you need to work on forgiving yourself," Leo said.

After a few uneasy moments of silence Leo spoke up again, "So you built this entirely from scratch?"

"Yeah."

Leo shook his head.

"What?" Raph asked.

"I just wish I could do half the stuff you do. Must be nice being able to ride out at night."

"Well, yeah, what do you do?"

"Train."

"Typical," Raph muttered with a scowl.

"Why blue?" Leo asked trying to get the subject away from his special leadership training he had every late evening and early morning.

"I told you," Raph said in an irritated voice, "It's for you."

Leo froze like he had been told it for the first time, "Me?"

"Is there anyone else here?"

"I don't know how to ride, and I don't know anything about motorcycles only some basic things about the Battle-Shell."

"Hey, you'll learn," Raph said, "It'll run now but I'd still like to adjust and add a few things."

"Raph, I wouldn't have time to ride much less repair it," Leo argued.

"Don't train so much," Raph argued back, "And don't worry I'll help you until you have all of it down."

Leo sighed, "Raph, it's amazing, it is, but I won't have time. I just can't stop training."

Raph glared, "Why the shell do you train so much? You gotta be doing more than sucking up to Splinter."

"I'm not Raph I just can't stop. The training's required."

"By who, Master Splinter or **you!?"**

"**Raph, I just can't drop my morning and evening training sessions!"**

"**Why the shell not!?"**


	8. Chapter 8

I don't own TMNT.

* * *

Suddenly they both froze and stared at one another.

"This is-" Raph started.

"How it all happened," Leo finished.

They both took a deep breath and shook off their anger.

"I'm sorry Raph," Leo said, his gaze focusing on the blue motorcycle.

"Yeah, me too bro," Raph said, gazing at the Shell-Cycle.

A long minute of silence passed them both before Raph finally spoke up, "I just, I want to know why you do so much training? I mean, why not just hang out with us once in a while?"

This time they talked in calm controlled voices. Any spike of anger was burnt down by the memory.

"I do all the training because I have to. I want to spend more time with all of you, believe me Raph. I just don't have time. In fact that evening training of mine starts in an hour."

Raph perked up, "You have an hour?"

"Well yeah."

"Well come on bro, grab your bike, there's a trail down the street where you can practice."

"But-"

Raph threw him a blue helmet before slipping on his red one and wheeling out the Shell-Cycle. Leo groaned and slipped the helmet on. He wheeled out the new bike behind Raph.

As the garage door closed behind them Leo said, "Raph really I should be-"

"What?" he asked in a scolding voice.

Leo leaned slightly away from Raph, he had that dangerous edge to his voice again.

"Oh, sorry bro," Raph said quickly, readjusting his voice.

"Raph I just-I don't know about this. I've never ridden one and I don't know this just seems like- uh well that I um I uh-"

"Try sentences and syllables Leonardo," Raph teased.

Leo couldn't help it, he laughed.

"Come on," Raph said, "It's just two buildings down, an old dirt track."

"Track?" Leo asked uneasily.

"Don't worry it's a strait line," Raph said and laughed when Leo appeared to relax the slightest bit.

"Oh, come on Fearless," Raph said, "You'll jump 200 meters down from a crashing helicopter and on to a car speeding over 300 MPH, but you won't ride a motorcycle?"

Leo smiled, "Exactly, and stop calling me Fearless!"

"Hey, it's true bro."

"I am not fearless, you know I'm terrified of heights and failure and whatever that cartoon is that Mikey watches on Saturday mornings."

Raph shivered, "Yeah, whatever those things are they give me nightmares."

"What, do they sing for eternity?" Leo asked, amazed at the civil conversation they were managing to have.

"AND DANCE!" Raph emphasized with another shiver.

Leo shivered too, "Oh, that is a nightmare. I don't know how Mikey stands them."

"That kid is a wonder, oh we're here," Raph said as they reached the old dirt track.

"Well, I hope Mikey never grows up," Leo said, not mentioning his thoughts of the dirt track.

"Ok Leo, listen," Raph said, "Here's lesson number one, getting on and staying on the bike. Now pay attention, I tried to teach Mikey once. That ended in disaster."

"I can imagine," Leo said, "Wait, was that why there was a huge spontaneous explosion downtown?"

"The numskull can cover great distances when panicking," Raph replied.

* * *

Yay for spontaneous explosions! We gotta have them!

~Moonsetta


	9. Chapter 9

I don't own TMNT.

* * *

The next hour found the brothers whipping back and forth across the dirt path, laughing, like teenage brothers should.

"Well? What do you think about motorcycles now?" Raph asked as they actually rode back to the garage.

"Screaming metal deathtraps," Leo replied with an amused voice, "But, they're cool."

They both laughed and stopped at the door of the warehouse. Then they both snapped their heads towards the door.

"What is that?" Leo asked.

Raph grunted, "This has Mikey written all over it."

"Literally," Leo said gazing at a painting of Mikey's alter-ego, the Turtle Titan, on the door of the warehouse!

"That idiot, doesn't he realize that some human could see that and find us here," reasoned Raph.

"I think you're beginning to see things my way," Leo said as they entered the garage.

"I'll pound the dork when they all get back."

"Now that's the Raphael I know," Leo thought.

"Well," Raph said parking his bike and removing his helmet, "I better get to cleaning that off."

Leo went to interject when Raph said, "You better hurry to that training of yours."

"Oh, yeah," Leo said.

"I can't believe I actually forgot the time," Leo thought as he headed inside towards the dojo.

He took a deep breath and then took out his katanas.

"Ok, tonight is improving speed and muscle endurance," he thought and then lost himself in the rhythm of the kata he preformed.

"I'm gonna kill that idiot!" Raphael grumbled as he found himself washing off another Turtle Titan painting from the tarp that covered the Battle-Shell.

"If any more of these show up I'm just gonna tear whatever it is to pieces!" Raph thought as he was hopefully rid of the annoying image.

He walked into the living room to find that Leo was still in the dojo.

"Why is he training? We train enough," Raph thought.

Eventually, Raph walked towards the dojo and glanced inside to see Leo running through a kata, perfectly as usual. Leo sensed Raph's presence and stopped the kata.

"What is it Raph?" he asked.

"Can I join you?"

Leo looked at him wide eyed for a few seconds and then nodded. One hour later they were sparring, a big change for Leo since he was usually training alone or with Master Splinter just watching him.

"So you never answered before," Raph said as each of his sais met Leo's katanas.

"Answered what?" Leo said as he turned his wrists, ducked under the sais and shot forward.

Raph jumped back to keep out of Leo's range then ran forward until their weapons locked again.

"You told me you had to do all this training but you never said why."

"I just have to."

They both released the force they were applying into their weapons and jumped back.

"That's not an answer Leo."

Leo glanced sideways at the air and lifted his swords to catch Raph's next attack.

"Well?" Raph asked as he wrestled one sai free and struck out with it, making sure to aim for Leo's shoulder and arms.

The wound on Leo's plastron thankfully hadn't reopened during their training and sparring. Leo threw his weight to the right, effectively knocking away one of Raph's sais.

"Ok, that's enough for tonight," Leo said and sheathed his blades.

"I want an answer," Raph said as he went over to retrieve his lost sai.

Leo sighed, he didn't want to talk about the leadership training. The whole leader thing was often why the two got into arguments in the first place and Leo didn't want a fight since they had been kind of getting along. Of course that was mostly because Raph had been trying to avoid Leo all day and Leo had been sleeping because of the pain medication.

"It's a leader thing," Leo said slowly and hesitantly.

"What, being leader demands you train five times longer than us?"

"Yes."

"Oh come on!" Raph yelled tucking his sais into his belt, "I know this is getting repetitive but why?"

Leo grounded his teeth together and kept silent. Raph growled and stalked over to his blue-banded brother.

"Yo, Fearless Leader! You gonna answer?!"

"Fine! It's orders ok!? Since the day I was chosen as leader Master Splinter added morning and evening training sessions to my schedule!"

"So you train because Master Splinter tells you to?"

"YES!" Leo yelled clenching his hands into fists and breathing deeply.

His heavy breathing caused his wound to reopen again and Leo groaned while placing a hand over it. Raph of course was by his brother's side in a second, fight completely forgotten for now.

"Come on bro," Raph said, "We might want to ask Donny to sew that up later."

"April said it wasn't large enough to need stitches," Leo mumbled as Raph helped him to sit on the couch in the living room.

"I'll be right back," Raph said and went into Donny's lab to fetch the first aid kit.

He returned to find Leo was staring at the dojo.

"Can you ever forget about training for more than three seconds?" Raph asked harshly.

"Sorry," Leo mumbled and Raph mentally kicked himself.

"Great, last thing I need right now is a brooding Leo," Raph said as he sat down and treated the wound again.

* * *

I always found it hilarious that Leo and Raph can be arguing one minute but save each other's lives the next.

Try to hurt Leo and Raph assures you're skinned before you can blink.

Try to hurt Raph and Leo will turn you into a smoking sausage on a stick in a matter of seconds.

I just love that! ^_^

~Moonsetta


	10. Chapter 10

I don't own TMNT.

* * *

They both kept quiet until Raph decided to break the silence.

"Sorry about that," he said and then sighed when Leo didn't respond.

Another minute of silence ticked by before Leo finally spoke, "It's ok. I don't mean to it's just become my life."

Raph had been putting all the supplies away and then slammed the lid of the kit.

"Would it kill you to take some time off and spend it with your brothers!?"

Leo responded with his own question, "Why are you the only one who ever complains!?"

"I'm the only one with enough guts to approach you."

"That doesn't make any sense!"

"Leo, you're perfect. How many times do I have to say it?"

"I'm not perfect!" Leo yelled shooting to his feet.

"Maybe you aren't to you but what do you think the rest of us see?!" Raph yelled back, shooting to his feet as well.

"I-I" Leo stammered.

Raph sighed, "Look Leo, you're the perfect son to Splinter and the perfect student. Mikey's seen you as superhero for all time and you're Donny's hero, you always have been."

"W-What?"

"Oh come on you never knew it?"

"I- no, Raph you're exaggerating!"

"Oh am I?" Raph asked scooping up a drawing book of Mikey's from the table.

"Take a look," Raph said holding out the book.

Leo took the book and flipped it to the first page to find a comic strip, a blue banded flying turtle was in the sky.

Raph watched with a smirk as Leo's mouth fell open wider at each turn of the page.

"Personally, I think that first costume's pretty lame but I think you get the picture."

"Ok fine," Leo said, putting the book back on the table and falling back down onto the couch.

"Great, you're starting to see the light bro," Raph said with a smile.

"Ok, Mikey I understand but Donny?" Leo asked, "He's a genius, why am I a hero in his eyes?"

"You know a ninja who likes and tinkers with electronics?"

"Donny," Leo answered.

"Anyone else?"

"No, only Donny."

"Now how do you think that makes him feel when he watches you master every aspect of nin-jutsu perfectly?"

Leo suddenly sat up strait, "Ok, who are you and what have you done with my little brother Raphael?"

Raph laughed, "I was wondering when you would ask that. Donny may be a genius and Mikey may be quick but man are they slow when it comes to noticing who's sneaking around behind their backs."

"You found Donny's journal?" Leo asked.

"Yeah, you'd really think it would be on his computer, him being the technical geek that he is."

"In the hidden compartment in the wall," Leo said.

"You know?"

"I've often seen him write in it. I asked him about it once, he told me and then I went back to meditating."

"You never read it?"

"No, I never had any reason to."

Raph sighed then glanced at the clock.

"It's already 1:00am, how long are they going to be gone?" the red banded turtle asked.

"I don't know," Leo murmured.

* * *

*Rolls eyes* Leave it to Leo to be the oblivious one.

Last chapter will be out tommorrow morning.

~Moonsetta


	11. Chapter 11

Here's the final chapter, like I promised.

I don't own TMNT.

* * *

"Hey," Raph said after a moment of silence, "You realize now the TV is Mikey-free?"

Leo smiled and reached for the remote, but as soon as the TV came on they came face to face with a nightmare.

"AH!" they both screamed and dove for the remote, Raph eventually being able to press the power button.

"Curse you Mikey," Raph muttered.

"He had to block every channel except that one?" Leo asked.

"Leave it to Mikey. You get the feeling he's trying to torture us?"

"A heavy haunting is more like it," Leo replied.

"Movie?"

"Movie."

Five minutes later the turtles were staring at the ceiling.

"How in the world did he manage to do that?" Raph asked.

"I don't even want to know," Leo muttered as the colorful cases of every video they owned stared down at them from where they had been stuck to the ceiling.

"I really hope I spar with him tomorrow," Raph said, "I'm gonna kick his shell from here to Timbuktu."

Leo sighed, "Little brothers."

"You said it," Raph replied, "So what now?"

"Why don't we raid Mikey's DVD collection?"

Raph smirked, "The numbskull has to have something worth watching."

After a quick search they settled down to watch Terminator.

"Do you think machines will ever take over the world?" Raph asked randomly.

Leo thought for a minute, "It's possible I suppose, but I'm seriously questioning the design of said robots."

"You gonna go off into a Donny rant?"

"No, but give me a minute I'm sure I can find something else to criticize," Leo said with a smile.

Raph smiled back and then yawned as drowsiness settled over him.

"Oh yeah I forgot to tell you," Raph muttered in his tired voice, "Master Splinter said no practice for a week until that wound of yours is healed."

"So my training tonight was pointless?"

"Pretty much," Raph said his head falling to one side.

"I have a hole in my chest and he's the tired one," Leo thought and didn't notice anything for the next ten minutes of the movie.

Suddenly, Leo felt a weight on his side. He glanced over to find that Raph had fallen asleep on his shoulder. Leo smiled and reached for the blanket on the back of the couch. He lightly draped over his little brother and sighed happily.

"Leo?" Raph asked.

"Hm?" Leo responded and then yawned himself.

"I'm still sorry," Raph said.

"And I still don't blame you."

"Well and all your training I-"

"Yeah, maybe I should make more time for other things."

"No, it's ok," Raph said in a fading voice.

"I'll make time," Leo promised.

He realized Raph had once again faded into unconsciousness and once Leo yawned again he reached down and turned off everything. He made sure to turn off the TV first or he would have nightmares of that 'evil cartoon'. When the area was completely dark around them, Leo yawned once more before relaxing and giving into sleep as well.

"Donny, get your camera," Mikey whispered frantically as he tried to hold in his laughter at the scene before him.

"What is-" Donny fell silent at the scene and quickly went to his room to grab his camera.

He returned to find Mikey was slightly nudging Raph.

"Mikey stop, you'll wake him up," Donny warned.

"I'm trying to get him to snuggle closer to Leo," Mikey explained and nudged Raph again.

Splinter watched this from the kitchen, shaking his head but smiling none the less. Mikey stepped back and Donny aimed the camera without bothering to look through the lens since he had had enough experiences taking photos. Raph and Leo each cracked one eye open slightly just enough to pass a message to each other but not enough to alert the other two turtles that they were awake. Raph held back his smirk and decided to do what Mikey had wanted him to do. He snuggled closer to his big brother and heard the small laughter from his little brothers.

Donny quickly took the picture, carefully watching the flash of the white light. Then, Mikey and Donny burst out laughing. The two eldest turtles decided then to wake up. Raph yawned and moved away from Leo as he rubbed the tiredness from his eyes. Leo sat up and then turned to the hysterical turtles, Mikey on his back on the floor, both roaring with laughter.

"I'm going to go print this!" Donny shouted and rushed to his lab while Mikey stayed behind, still laughing and trying to say something but failing miserably.

Raph stood up and offered a hand to Leo. He took it and they both headed to the kitchen where Splinter was sitting at the table with a cup of tea.

"Good morning my sons," he greeted.

"WHAT!!!???" came the cry from Donny in his lab.

"It's too bad," Leo muttered.

"Yeah," Raph said.

"Too bad the lens cap was still on," they thought in unison.

* * *

Sorry, I couldn't let my fav turtles get humilated. ^_^

Well, reviews make me happy, so do messages. Thanks for all the reviews my readers. You're all the best!

~Moonsetta


End file.
